RFI: What to say about safer sex? (7)
-------------------------------------
Dear Dr. King,
It is really shocking what AIDS is doing to populations in Af-
rica, and it's rapid spread among women. I agree with you,
while promoting abstinence and extolling the classic Christian
ethics of sex is important, it is not going to solve the prob-
lem. There is going to be sex. Let's face reality, Christianity
has been in Africa for a long time now, and since the onset of
the break-up of traditional cultural values in many parts of
Africa, adolescent pregnancies have been rampant even before
Aids appeared on the scene.
I say this with all due respect to the Christians. I am cur-
rently trying to go through the current literature on gender
sex and AIDS in Africa south of the Sahara. It seems the criti-
cal issue here is not just the availability of condoms but the
acceptance and usage of condoms. A lot of women in Africa are
suffering not only from the denial of social and economic
rights but crucial here, the denial of rights over there own
sexuality and sexual decision-making. Women in Africa have to
be able to decide who to have sex with, when and how if the
fight against the spread of HIV infections is going to be
curbed.
Because of the strong patriarchal system which sets women be-
neath the men, women are socialised from birth on to accept
sexual and other demands of the men without question. Which
means that even when a woman has access to condoms she has to
overcome her internalised inhibitions which dictate she has no
right to tell a man how to go about sex, or demand that her
partner use a condom if he is not willing to. Taking the case
of the young women a lot of them due to there socialisation are
not able to convincingly say no to sex even when they know it
is unsafe and they are reluctant because deep down they know
they have to bow down to the will of a man, that is the way
they have been socialised.
Another important point is that, in several communities in
question, women are socialised to deny their own sexuality,
young girls are kept in total ignorance of there bodies the
changes that happen to them and that sexual desires are normal.
In Some societies genital mutilations are undertaken to empha-
sis this. A unmarried woman/girl who carries condoms is one who
not only acknowledges her sexuality against the dictates of the
society but stands in danger of being labelled immoral and pro-
miscuous both by the society and the partner.
I wonder whether heavy petting can really be taught as such, I
do not know how it evolved so to speak in the western world,
but it is my theory I could be completely wrong, that it
evolved in a setting where women were no longer ashamed of
their sexuality and where they knew what was happening to them.
They knew how far is too far and when to stop. They had the
confidence of knowing and knowing that they knew.
So what I would like to see in 'Primary Mother Care' is an ap-
proach which takes into account the socio-cultural setting
which determines the sexual behaviour of women and girls. An
approach which aims at a sex education which teaches young
girls and women not just the biological facts about sex but
prepares them for even more. Teach them how to recognise the
physical and emotional changes teach them to accept their sexu-
ality and maybe then you will not have to worry about teaching
them about heavy petting...
I strongly believe that, in order for women to be able to prac-
tise safer sex, they have to have to gain the right to sexual
decision making. I don't believe this is going to be easy or
quick, it calls for changes in the structure of the societies
in question, it means changing deep rooted ways and customs it
means teaching young girls confidence and a new self-awareness.
Maybe if we can teach women to see themselves in a different
light we can teach men to change the way they see them and
their role in the society. It sounds drastic but I believe the
HIV problem requires drastic measures. I think there is a lot
more to say on the subject and I would be interested to read
comments on my views from you and other readers.
Muthoni Mathai
Moerikestr.5
34125 Kassel
Germany
mailto:ammathai@t-online.de
--
Send mail for the `AFRO-NETS' conference to `afro-nets@usa.healthnet.org'.
Mail administrative requests to `majordomo@usa.healthnet.org'.
For additional assistance, send mail to: `owner-afro-nets@usa.healthnet.org'.